i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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