Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
