I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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