your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
