I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
