i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
