Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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