ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
