Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
