I skipped work to stalk him.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
