glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
