Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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