God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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