At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
