Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
