super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
