he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
