physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
