I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
