Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
