I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
