If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize