Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize