My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
