Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
