FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
