Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
