I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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