i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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