also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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