i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
