You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have aggressive nipples.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
