He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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