I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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