Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
a search helicopter?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
