pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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