The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't you send me to vm
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
