my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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