We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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