Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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