dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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