Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
People in love make me want to vomit
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
