I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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