Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
