i already hear my dad disowning me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize