Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
