using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
