I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
