If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
