id be glad to
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
