I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
