I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
