I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
