you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
