i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize