But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
