i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
