Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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