I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sponge bath it is.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
