you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
