Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
