i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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