How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have demons in me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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