Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize