Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
