The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
