do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
