Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
