There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
