I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
