omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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